i love my baylor

i love my baylor.

i love the green and the gold. i love my friends, my classmates, my professors, my church. i love the community that i have been a part of in the last three and half years. i love that i have been stretched, challenged, grown. there is absolutely no doubt that God placed me in waco for a reason. i stand for baylor. i know this is the story of so many others alongside me. four years of joy, laughter, and fond memories. but i cannot stand for baylor ignorantly thinking that this is everyone’s story. i stand for the 17 baylor students whose baylor story was crushed in a moment. i stand for those women who had an immense amount of courage to stand up for themselves and to be vulnerable, knowing their story could be easily twisted and they could be further humiliated. baylor took steps this year, trying to be transparent in the issue of sexual assault. some say it was too late, but nonetheless, we took those steps. in the process, we lost leaders that we once looked up to and loved. my heart broke, learning that my school was so flawed. but i had hope. i spoke with others who’s hearts broke for baylor. for the 17. i, perhaps naively, believed that every one understood the gravity of sexual assault.

the blackout at yesterday’s football game has broken my heart once again. the men and women selling shirts with #cab broke my heart. all i could think when i heard was, “what would i be thinking if i was one of those seventeen women.” the shirt silenced the voices of the sexual assault victims with four characters. #, c, a, b.

the relationship between sexual assault and athletics is messy. let me tell you, i have been torn on how to respond so many times. one can argue “i support art briles AND i support rape victims”. “i support baylor football AND i know rape is wrong”. it’s more complicated than that. there are also so many opposing voices and so many different stories. the board of regents says this. the football coaching staff says that. the title IX office issued this statement. the news station released an article that said that. it is hard to discern.. you know what? i don’t know what to say. my heart is just not right with where we are right now.

i pray for my baylor. i pray for the seventeen strong individuals. i also pray for the nineteen football players who, in moments, stole a precious woman’s respect and dignity. i pray for coach art briles – he is, as well, facing a difficult season.

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